Workday nonsense September 30, 2009

It was another cinnamon french toast morning.   I’m on a roll.  Or is it that I’ve no groceries?  Whatever the case, my grouchy, half-blind zombie-child, Colby, is actually eating breakfast and I love when a kid will eat their breakfast.  I’m usually shoving pop tarts, muffins, bowls of cereal or rice krispy treats into his hand, backpack, pockets, to which he yells at me for nagging and throws them back on the counter.  BUT make a nice hot pile of french toast and he EATS.  Victory smells sweet!  And I smell it all over my clothes even at work right now.  

It’s so dark and ugly today and I’ve officially declared it Chai Tea season   There are most certainly seasons for food and it’s apple crisp, chili and soup or pancakes for dinner time!  I welcome it.  Tea in the summer is just not right.  What I’m seriously dreading when I’m trying to talk myself out of hitting snooze for another hour, is Life After Thanksgiving.   That is a season for me that stretches from  Black Friday until the last snow.  Maybe Easter.  I know, I live in the absolute wrong place- I need sun.  I’m already feeling low when 7pm rolls around and the sun disappears.  Anyway, Thanksgiving I love, Christmas- NO.  No, no, no.  Skip it. And January through March- absolutely bleak and depressing. 

Some young punk in VA wants to buy some wheels I have for sale online- he’s pestering me at this moment- I’m asking $300 and he wants to pay @225 and DRIVE half way.   What the hell is wrong with people?  He lives in southern VA.  Gotta head out- working in the sheriff’s office today

Censored! September 30, 2009

Dear Diary: 

Well, it seems my blog has upset a few people.  To be fair, worried them.  My apologies- I figured with my personal life being aired online several times by Dale that it would be no problem to put my personal life out there, but my judgement may have been off.  Geez, guys, lighten up    I’m cool.  So, a little less FYI.  I get it. 

I’m taking Violet to a Regina Spektor concert at WVU this Saturday… anyone want to go?  I think I have a girl crush on her.  I’ve really been into, thanks to my fourteen year old, Taking Back Sunday (My Blue Heaven and Liar- love them!  I loop them on my iPod!) and they are coming on Nov 4- looks like two concerts in my future!  I’m lucky to have teenagers that actually WANT to go to them with me.

Love Always, BFF’s, LYLAS,

Angie            I want the Dougie Houser MD theme to play when I type- that would be awesome

Bleed it Out September 29, 2009

A week and two days.  Nine days.  That’s how long it took me to get back on my feet and dragging the pavement again since the Marathon.  Considering my life in that span, I honestly haven’t had the slightest urge even though running has kept me focused, centered and conscious any other time- it’s just getting back.   It’s doing.   It’s believing.

I thundered up Fayette at a beautiful race pace because it just felt that beautiful.  She’s back.  Digging in around Union Street I realized that I smile at dogs.   All of them.  Funny; how do you do today, friend?  About six dogs smiled back at me on that street.  Back around Morgantown, two of my Uniontown policemen friends waved me on through the intersection in their patrol cars.  My shuffle swooshed, “you’re here, you’re here, you’re here” .  But I’m just a fragmented version of Ang.  Fragment?  Okay, shards.  A fragile, complicated box of sharp shards.  Sigh.  I suppose routine gives birth to a false sense of normalcy.  Maybe that’s how I revert to complacency in the first place (I’ve been dodging talking to Dale and avoiding confrontation because I like to go about my day in constant denial- it feels safe.   And routine).  I know it’s sounding hokey, because if you really wanted to, you could draw parallels from any one thing to another, but running in particular always tends to open those doors…. Lori, for instance, does an inspiring job of uniting her life in Christ with her everyday “work” be it running or mothering.  Today, during this 5 miler, it was as cold as a blustery November evening, spitting fine rain, and dark.  I knew Dale was out on his run, too.  I knew he was somewhere on the same city streets, unseen.  And although I know I am considerable faster than he, I still couldn’t “find” him- we were on completely opposite routes, wind hitting our faces in conversing directions.  It was a strange realization.  I don’t know.

Warden, with no warning, announced his sudden retirement at this morning’s meeting.  I’m the “newest” employee with only two years of service, but I shamelessly got emotional about it.   All day I was fighting tears - UGH!  What a crier!  He is the the most compassionate, wonderful, fair boss I’ve ever had- he will be missed when he goes.  Well, enough.  Tonight would be a most excellent chili night.

And thank you for the kind comments on the blog, friends

Goodmorning, heartache- you’re like an old friend September 29, 2009

Colby and I concluded yesterday’s evening discussing our current rotation of bizarre apocalpyptic dreams.  It started when he confided to me that the reason he has been sleeping with the air conditioning on, although our nights have been becoming quite cold, is due to the fantastic nightmares he seems to have when his body is struggling to keep warm is, well, enjoyable to him.  Wow, you like having nightmares AND being cold?  Right on, son   When he described his most current dream though, my hair stood on end- it was an end of times sort of dreams with sky  black and filled with a constant curtain of stars falling past the Earth.  There’s no where to hide in these dreams.  I’ve been having that dream for a long time.  It was a cool conversation and we even read portions of Revelations.  Anyway, there’s no point here- I am just wondering is, when I wake him up in a few minutes for school, if he actually slept well after that.

I did not have  a great night of sleep.  I slept soundly a little after one o’clock but had cried sometime beforehand and now, despite a frozen rice and vegetables compress I held on my face, my eyes and lips are obviously puffy; ugh, I hate that!   I could cry for three seconds and you’d be able to tell three days later!  I’m not even sure what to make of the conversation Dale and I had.

I’ve got to get moving; I’m determined to have a decent day- cross country meet this afternoon and a drug raid at work to keep me busy.   It’s all going to start momentarily with some french toast and loud music

You’re What the Autumn Knew Would Happen… September 28, 2009

In true Angie-form, I’m perched at the countertop strewn with (late) bills, stirring dinner and, naturally, eating something rather vile…like…say…a humongous, primitavely hacked-off chunk of sharp cheddar cheese.  Oh, I do not disappoint, friends, I always give you the hardcore truth.  My dress pants are unbuttoned, too and my makeup is smeared…how ya like that?   I’m a domesticated Courtney Love.  I’ve not run since the marathon fiasco a week and two days ago.   And so here we go- another self-depricating blog about food, running, poetry, kids, nostalgia, and chaos in my life.  Come in, and don’t bother to take your shoes off because it’s been awhile since I’ve mopped!

It’s practically dark and it’s 7 o’clock.  WTH. 

Well, Laura urged me into finding a new venue for what started in 2006 as a (I’m embarrassed to use the word…) MYSPACE blog that I thought no one would read, but apparently I had a few followers who enjoyed my quiet desperation, random poems and penchant for poking fun at my soft belly.  I suppose, as I’ve been told, it even inspired a few people to start running and a couple of them even took it further by running some races- that’s awesome!  I hope I inspired a few to eat cheesecake, cereal and ice cream as well (the four food groups…minus Taco Bell)

I won’t overwhelm you with any melancholia at the moment or anything too deep- it’s just the first post, afterall- c’mon. 

You may be a mutual “facebook friend” of my husband’s and decided to check out my blog, hoping in guilty fascination to make sense of the wild, dispairing and ambiguous lyrics and updates he has been leaving.  I know a few of you even know what’s up because you messaged him.  Gossip getting set straight- yes,  my marriage is currently at the point of discontinuity.  I won’t go into detail but in this lovely no-secrets blog that I write more for my self-therapy than your amusement, I gotta put it on the dissecting table.  And likewise, leave comments publicly, please.  

Have to wrap this first one up….

~ My kids are doing great- thought Colby had MRSA (or as Violet calls is, Mrs. A) and spent the last couple of hours at MedExpress.  Colby at the home game last Friday with his Baritone… doesn’t he look excited?!  I know!

~ Colby is running 21′s in Cross County! Here’s Violet on Sat…

~ My next marathon is in 3 weeks and I am considering not running it or maybe running the half because I am exhausted in every way.   I ran a 4:2X  (not sure) last week at the Air Force Marathon.

~ Sometimes stress damages the appetite- not now- I am voracious.  Someone stop me- if it’s in my way, I eat it. 

~ Dale has lost a ton of weight and ran thirty miles last week as well as spends a lot of time at the Y- this is great but he has us worried.

Lastly, I’ve got to sort through my notebooks and post up some new poetry rambling I’ve created, but in the meantime, enjoy November 1968 by Adrienne Rich- I’m really digging this one right now (hence the post title)…  I LOVE IT

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/november-1968/