Dropping by in a rather “Dear Diary” fashion because I’ve fallen off the BlogWagon. Just don’t feel it like and prefer the antiquated and time-tested act of scribbling feverishly on scrap paper at my work desk. It’s cathartic to see the pencil lines marring the sheets with thick, angey stripes…. pounding a keyboard just doesn’t cut it.
Well, what wisdom can you give me about telling the truth? I’ve become honest. Clean. True, I was pushed into a corner and probed and prodded until I couldn’t any longer and finally gave up the ghost. I feel awful and sick. I feel manipulated (as a “liar”, shouldn’t I feel like the manipulator? Oh, I do) yet… new. It’s out now. My lying can stop- I won’t keep it up. I’ll wait for the sentence, to serve my penance, I’ll make a bed up in my personal purgatory and wait it out.
Because I don’t know what comes next. The rest of my life. My new life. My honest life. It can be a good life, but one with a rocky and blind beginning. We’ll see.
I’m trying to run but lately it makes me sore. This is an odd result for me. My problem is that I run long a few a week, then I’ll slack off and run a huge one 6 days later…. NOT working. You can’t run 7 miles in inches of SNOW of all mediums, then expect to feel good trying to run 11-12 miles fast. Yuck. Today I feel like I have leaden bricks trailing behind my ankles. A prisoner. I finally fell asleep with Biofreeze slathered all over my left hip and knee last night.
Nothing new other than my usual drama. There are so many shows I hope I can see… Muse, Siversun Pickups in D.C. in the beginning of March… face to Face and NOFX at Musink Fest in OC next month- THAT I’d LOVE to see 
Kids are taking finals. Violet’s Sweet Sixteen Birthday party in Saturday- so much to do. She got her learner’s permit and wants to drive now ALL OF THE TIME and this makes me a nervous puddle of mom.
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