My children have not been in school since an early dismissal sent them home on February 5. Grrrrr….! I’m becoming increasingly restless with the never (melting) ending piles of dirty white mess- the sad, little stomped-down trail from my front door to the car, carved out of three feet of snow… the hours at dawn and dusk where the sky and landscape meld into one alarmingly bright, yet gray, stark canvas. The sun sets with the hint of longer days ahead (nearly six p.m. now!) It’s day after day of DVD’s, munching, eating, picking, sticking my spoon into the icing container… I can’t fit into my favorite black pinstripe work pants. I don’t mean they’re tight…. i mean that I cannot make the cute oversized sailor button on top meet with its hole. It was last week…. true, I was a raging PMS mess (my eyes welled with tears when I walked past the baby clothes in WalMart- I don’t know about myself somedays…) when I decided ten minutes before I was to be at work that the black tights and narrow skirt made me feel like a stuffed sausage in its casing so I quickly slipped the skirt off and yanked the pants off a hanger. Ooops….they won’t button….maybe it’s the tights- need to take them off too. No, even bare legged, the pants would not give me fastening-satisfaction. I panicked. 7:53am. I began to try ALL of the neglected-this-winter pants. Wow is all I can say- does the fat just sneak up on you? I swear I wore those pants at least once since the new year. I’m crushed. I realized that I’ve been subconsciously avoiding all the cute, tight AE jeans I wore this fall. The sweet pajama shorts with ribbons. The white button up work shirts that just nip at the top of my dress pant waist 
I’m wearing old gym shorts with bleach marks, less sexy undies (and my boobs are bigger! ick!) and sweatshirts with fleecy robes. I’m a winter-made mess. A bonafide basketcase. An eating machine.
Last week I bought a sleek pair of Under Armour running pants, new Mizuno’s and expensive inserts- it was a Dick’s shopping spree- retail therapy! They’re folded in my room, unused.
I’m in the thick of it now… almost, anyway- last year it was March. February is doing for me now in 2010. Oh, if I were a medicating sort of person! I need a damn light box or something! A drill sargeant! My kids to resume school at the very least!
For the mundane record, Violet is getting extensive ortho work- $4200 worth Looking for a car for her as she will be working at a resort this summer and needs to drive herself- isn’t that just UNBELIEVABLE! My brother moved back to the area with his girlfriend Jenn- they’re staying with my dad- also, odd. I’m going to be 35 in a few months (that’s halfway to 70) . Okay, over four months, but 35 is freaking me out in a big way. I was invited to my high school best friend’s 35th birthday party in a few weeks- haven’t decided to go or not.
Some Recent Comments