Reflecting over the Top Gun Soundtrack. Kill me. November 11, 2009

So, I’m sitting here watching Maverick, Goose and the Ice Man (yeah, nothing better to do than watch Top Gun for the umpteenth time) with an empty Subway pizza container.  Kelly McGillis really sort of looked like a dude to me… don’t get me wrong, her homely looks kind of worked as an Amish chick in Witness (and that chemistry with Harrison Ford….mmmm…yummy- you just wanted them to get all sexed up over a butter churner or chicken coop), but she’s just weird in this movie.  Eh, Tom Cruise is ugly too.  Is there anything better to do with my time?   No.  I’m knee-deep in a Tuesday night funk.  I just drove an hour and a half to meet a kid I met, like a total ass, on Craigslist and TRUSTED he was meeting me and selling me tickets to an event.  Ever-naive Ang.  We kept texting each other  (Ugh- this onscreen kiss is unbelievably gross….yuck!) throughout….even as I waited in the parking lot for the little ball-less ba$tard, I believed he was simply late.  Then his texts got strange and I knew I had been duped.  Wonder-emo kid Ang cried and turned the car around for home.

What really sucks is that I’m not even hungry, but stress subjects me to a keen sensitivity to starch and sources of insignificant nutrition, hence the polished off pizza.  Sigh.  I’m sad today.  PMS?  Naw- not yet, but similar- eating…far-away stares…  I think my boobs are bigger?  Are they bigger (I’m simultaneously grabbing each with a little  shake…like feeling fruit for firmness…but you can’t see that, can ya?)?  My clothes fit fine, but I feel soft… or bloaty. Ick.   I hope it’s not a fat girl re emerging- she was a depressing creature.  Gotta run, run, run (Val Kilmer is ridiculous in this movie.   I just can’t take his acting prowess seriously…although I totally wanted him in the movie Real Genius when I was, like, ten.  He suffers from the Keneau Reeves Syndrome.) 

I’m quickly at the conclusion that 2009 is making it’s closing remarks.  I don’t like it’s argument, either, as the year is wrapping up much differently than it premiered.  Hope in a snow globe- soft, blinding fool’s hope- light and wispy.  Now, the holidays are on us and I can see that it’s not hope, but a confusing white-out.   I’m such a Debbie Downer….I’m going to mapquest “Bright Side” and go looking for it.   (Goose has passed, ladies and gentlemen) 

Violet’s at a party….a Senior BOY’s party at his house.  (Tom Cruise in his tighty-whities… puke)  I’m sinking into her heating blanket on her bed… “What do I get out of this?  I always try, I always miss….”  (New Order) 

This has been a test of the Emergency Emo Random System…

An Oatmeal Kind of Life November 3, 2009

Oatmeal is starting to turn me into a dull person- you are what you eat, right?  I’ve eaten apple cinnamon oatmeal everyday at work for nearly two weeks.  I’m stuck in my habits, my ruts.  Does it occur to me to make something more flavorful?    Of course- I’ve got veggies in every color in the fridge, hummus, a stack of white chunk tuna in the cupboard for salad… but I grab my “woobie” food- my comfort plan- tried and true oatmeal.  A bar for breakfast, hot honeyed green tea at work in the morning, oatmeal and yogurt (yogurt every day for YEARS) ….. day in, day out.  I gotta step out of this monotonous food box before whatever lustiness I have commits suicide.  Spicy tonight. 

I have been entirely too busy to blog.  So I’m boring.  And my latest entries suck ass.   My apologies, I’m wrting out of a sense of personal obligation to not abandon (hope, cheese and my favorite worn out stained up jogging shorts) my site.  It’s the looming, forboding HOLIDAY SEASON.  Wretched.  I feel time taxed already.  I promise, there’s excitement left in me yet.  Thursday it’s Taking Back Sunday with my youngest   Excited!  We scored pit tickets- look-out, there’s a mom in the pit!

Zombies are good people. October 2, 2009

I am eating the most incredible tasting white veggie pizza.  Mmmmm. I am a movie snob- I LOVE movies- but not just any run of the mill mainstream caca that Hollywood craps out.  It’s gotta have substance, complexities and GOOD ACTING at the very least!  I’m not even into B-horror films like my peers are; they’re stupid (the movies, that is).  This drives my family crazy because if they see something that looks good, I jump on the computer and check rottentomatoes.com, and a few other sources for reviews.   Yeah, for years I’ve been torturing them all with critic statistics.  Slightly embarrassing too, because that means I’m putting all of my faith in someone else’s opinion, but somehow I rationalize it anyway.  My point is that I’ve been wanting to see Zombieland since I saw the previews (I know, zombies hail for the aforementioned B-film genre, but hey, I’m full of contradictions).  I really loved Shaun of the Dead and this movie looked zombie-silly too.  I like Zombies, there you have it.  So I’ve been staying away  from rottentomatoes.com all week because for once I didn’t want to spoil my going to see it tonight.  Seriously- it’s been hurting….. I mean, is it a tomato meter rating of 53%?   19%?  In which case I would not even go.  I’m lame.  I couldn’t fight the temptation any longer (can I ever?) and checked- 89%!!   Yay!  Worthy of an Angie-sized popcorn with extra salt!! 

I have a pretty full weekend to keep myself busy… Heart Walk, paint prepping, car cleaning, house cleaning, hopefully mix something fun in with all of that.  I need out of the house.  (What I NEED are cash donations so I can go see my man Michael Patrick for some quality tattoo time ) Have a great weekend-  and sadness- stay at bay! 

Goodnight, Moon October 2, 2009

You know what feels good at the close of a day?  Taking off your bra and frantically rubbing all of the skin striped by strapping, hooks and wires.   Bondage!   Ugh!  Free the boobage!!   I’m wearing a  multicolored fuzzy toboggan, long wool socks and…a sheet.  Woooo feels deviant and great.  I’m trying to stay awake to watch Always Sunny in Philadelphia but I’m silly with sleepiness and the mint Blizzard I just ate making me feel satiated.  And what a ripoff!  I love Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies but this blizzard hiding behind the Girl Scout name was sort of nasty- it had green snotty looking mint syrup in it- bleh. 

I have a constantly turning kaleidoscope overlay in my brain- forming and coloring, defragmenting and building over and over and over.  Nothing is concrete, everything is fluid. 

It’s all pretty fascinating- making sense of the shapes, not knowing where all the pieces will fall and the spinning will stop.    ‘Night.

Octobrrrrrrr October 1, 2009

We lost the town cup yesterday   That’s the race and the trophy cup passed between historic rivals Uniontown and LH (booooo!).  Last year both girls and boys won, this year….not.  I was so frozen when I got home that I sat in fetal position in the bottom of the shower until the hot water ran out and my feet still didn’t want to work.  In October celebratory fashion we watched Interview with the Vampire last night and I had odd dreams with long haired men in them.   Ha- I think I had a nightmare about the nineties.  No, but I did wreck my wagon in my dream and I woke up in a momentary panic that I had no car…I like that split second rush you get in a waking dream state, but not so much when it involves my Jetta. 

I’m a sight this morning- hair piled sloppily on my head in a bun, glasses on, bright green sweatshirt with a leprechaun on the front of it.  Reminds me of the sweatshirt my grandma Dee would wear…. it had a playboy bunny on it and she didn’t know it LOL.  I don’t know what just made me think of it, but my brother once slapped a bumper sticker on her car “Free the Weed” , emblazoned with a big marijuana leaf.   She thought it was a sticker for lawn weed control and drove around like that.  I miss her.  I miss her home being a refuge.  A place where dinner is always on the stove   I’m hunched over in my fancy garb coveting an enormous brownie-muffin. No french toast today; I decided, rather than regular pan brownies, to put the batter in muffin cups and put a big spoonful of cream cheese mixed with a little milk and sugar on top- viola!  Cheesecake brownies!  They turned out pretty damn good.  I don’t want to play jail today and I’m in denial that I only have twenty minutes to get ready- I better accept it and shut the laptop.  Happy October1!

Workday nonsense September 30, 2009

It was another cinnamon french toast morning.   I’m on a roll.  Or is it that I’ve no groceries?  Whatever the case, my grouchy, half-blind zombie-child, Colby, is actually eating breakfast and I love when a kid will eat their breakfast.  I’m usually shoving pop tarts, muffins, bowls of cereal or rice krispy treats into his hand, backpack, pockets, to which he yells at me for nagging and throws them back on the counter.  BUT make a nice hot pile of french toast and he EATS.  Victory smells sweet!  And I smell it all over my clothes even at work right now.  

It’s so dark and ugly today and I’ve officially declared it Chai Tea season   There are most certainly seasons for food and it’s apple crisp, chili and soup or pancakes for dinner time!  I welcome it.  Tea in the summer is just not right.  What I’m seriously dreading when I’m trying to talk myself out of hitting snooze for another hour, is Life After Thanksgiving.   That is a season for me that stretches from  Black Friday until the last snow.  Maybe Easter.  I know, I live in the absolute wrong place- I need sun.  I’m already feeling low when 7pm rolls around and the sun disappears.  Anyway, Thanksgiving I love, Christmas- NO.  No, no, no.  Skip it. And January through March- absolutely bleak and depressing. 

Some young punk in VA wants to buy some wheels I have for sale online- he’s pestering me at this moment- I’m asking $300 and he wants to pay @225 and DRIVE half way.   What the hell is wrong with people?  He lives in southern VA.  Gotta head out- working in the sheriff’s office today

You’re What the Autumn Knew Would Happen… September 28, 2009

In true Angie-form, I’m perched at the countertop strewn with (late) bills, stirring dinner and, naturally, eating something rather vile…like…say…a humongous, primitavely hacked-off chunk of sharp cheddar cheese.  Oh, I do not disappoint, friends, I always give you the hardcore truth.  My dress pants are unbuttoned, too and my makeup is smeared…how ya like that?   I’m a domesticated Courtney Love.  I’ve not run since the marathon fiasco a week and two days ago.   And so here we go- another self-depricating blog about food, running, poetry, kids, nostalgia, and chaos in my life.  Come in, and don’t bother to take your shoes off because it’s been awhile since I’ve mopped!

It’s practically dark and it’s 7 o’clock.  WTH. 

Well, Laura urged me into finding a new venue for what started in 2006 as a (I’m embarrassed to use the word…) MYSPACE blog that I thought no one would read, but apparently I had a few followers who enjoyed my quiet desperation, random poems and penchant for poking fun at my soft belly.  I suppose, as I’ve been told, it even inspired a few people to start running and a couple of them even took it further by running some races- that’s awesome!  I hope I inspired a few to eat cheesecake, cereal and ice cream as well (the four food groups…minus Taco Bell)

I won’t overwhelm you with any melancholia at the moment or anything too deep- it’s just the first post, afterall- c’mon. 

You may be a mutual “facebook friend” of my husband’s and decided to check out my blog, hoping in guilty fascination to make sense of the wild, dispairing and ambiguous lyrics and updates he has been leaving.  I know a few of you even know what’s up because you messaged him.  Gossip getting set straight- yes,  my marriage is currently at the point of discontinuity.  I won’t go into detail but in this lovely no-secrets blog that I write more for my self-therapy than your amusement, I gotta put it on the dissecting table.  And likewise, leave comments publicly, please.  

Have to wrap this first one up….

~ My kids are doing great- thought Colby had MRSA (or as Violet calls is, Mrs. A) and spent the last couple of hours at MedExpress.  Colby at the home game last Friday with his Baritone… doesn’t he look excited?!  I know!

~ Colby is running 21′s in Cross County! Here’s Violet on Sat…

~ My next marathon is in 3 weeks and I am considering not running it or maybe running the half because I am exhausted in every way.   I ran a 4:2X  (not sure) last week at the Air Force Marathon.

~ Sometimes stress damages the appetite- not now- I am voracious.  Someone stop me- if it’s in my way, I eat it. 

~ Dale has lost a ton of weight and ran thirty miles last week as well as spends a lot of time at the Y- this is great but he has us worried.

Lastly, I’ve got to sort through my notebooks and post up some new poetry rambling I’ve created, but in the meantime, enjoy November 1968 by Adrienne Rich- I’m really digging this one right now (hence the post title)…  I LOVE IT

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/november-1968/