Leave Me Alone October 21, 2009

How do you get someone to leave you the hell alone when they don’t get the picture?  LEAVE ME ALONE.  Unfortunately, this person would not be readng my blogs :/  This is frustrating and consuming my energy and mentality. 

Eating raw veggies and hummus right now at a desk.  Mmmm…getting back on track!  I feel so much more calm when I’m not eating garbage and feeling guilty about not running- and so balanced when I’m racking some miles sans music- just me, my thoughts and Mizunos striking off.  Nirvana.

Speaking of, I gotta get back to yoga- I enjoyed

Goodnight, Moon October 2, 2009

You know what feels good at the close of a day?  Taking off your bra and frantically rubbing all of the skin striped by strapping, hooks and wires.   Bondage!   Ugh!  Free the boobage!!   I’m wearing a  multicolored fuzzy toboggan, long wool socks and…a sheet.  Woooo feels deviant and great.  I’m trying to stay awake to watch Always Sunny in Philadelphia but I’m silly with sleepiness and the mint Blizzard I just ate making me feel satiated.  And what a ripoff!  I love Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies but this blizzard hiding behind the Girl Scout name was sort of nasty- it had green snotty looking mint syrup in it- bleh. 

I have a constantly turning kaleidoscope overlay in my brain- forming and coloring, defragmenting and building over and over and over.  Nothing is concrete, everything is fluid. 

It’s all pretty fascinating- making sense of the shapes, not knowing where all the pieces will fall and the spinning will stop.    ‘Night.

Workday nonsense September 30, 2009

It was another cinnamon french toast morning.   I’m on a roll.  Or is it that I’ve no groceries?  Whatever the case, my grouchy, half-blind zombie-child, Colby, is actually eating breakfast and I love when a kid will eat their breakfast.  I’m usually shoving pop tarts, muffins, bowls of cereal or rice krispy treats into his hand, backpack, pockets, to which he yells at me for nagging and throws them back on the counter.  BUT make a nice hot pile of french toast and he EATS.  Victory smells sweet!  And I smell it all over my clothes even at work right now.  

It’s so dark and ugly today and I’ve officially declared it Chai Tea season   There are most certainly seasons for food and it’s apple crisp, chili and soup or pancakes for dinner time!  I welcome it.  Tea in the summer is just not right.  What I’m seriously dreading when I’m trying to talk myself out of hitting snooze for another hour, is Life After Thanksgiving.   That is a season for me that stretches from  Black Friday until the last snow.  Maybe Easter.  I know, I live in the absolute wrong place- I need sun.  I’m already feeling low when 7pm rolls around and the sun disappears.  Anyway, Thanksgiving I love, Christmas- NO.  No, no, no.  Skip it. And January through March- absolutely bleak and depressing. 

Some young punk in VA wants to buy some wheels I have for sale online- he’s pestering me at this moment- I’m asking $300 and he wants to pay @225 and DRIVE half way.   What the hell is wrong with people?  He lives in southern VA.  Gotta head out- working in the sheriff’s office today

Goodmorning, heartache- you’re like an old friend September 29, 2009

Colby and I concluded yesterday’s evening discussing our current rotation of bizarre apocalpyptic dreams.  It started when he confided to me that the reason he has been sleeping with the air conditioning on, although our nights have been becoming quite cold, is due to the fantastic nightmares he seems to have when his body is struggling to keep warm is, well, enjoyable to him.  Wow, you like having nightmares AND being cold?  Right on, son   When he described his most current dream though, my hair stood on end- it was an end of times sort of dreams with sky  black and filled with a constant curtain of stars falling past the Earth.  There’s no where to hide in these dreams.  I’ve been having that dream for a long time.  It was a cool conversation and we even read portions of Revelations.  Anyway, there’s no point here- I am just wondering is, when I wake him up in a few minutes for school, if he actually slept well after that.

I did not have  a great night of sleep.  I slept soundly a little after one o’clock but had cried sometime beforehand and now, despite a frozen rice and vegetables compress I held on my face, my eyes and lips are obviously puffy; ugh, I hate that!   I could cry for three seconds and you’d be able to tell three days later!  I’m not even sure what to make of the conversation Dale and I had.

I’ve got to get moving; I’m determined to have a decent day- cross country meet this afternoon and a drug raid at work to keep me busy.   It’s all going to start momentarily with some french toast and loud music

You’re What the Autumn Knew Would Happen… September 28, 2009

In true Angie-form, I’m perched at the countertop strewn with (late) bills, stirring dinner and, naturally, eating something rather vile…like…say…a humongous, primitavely hacked-off chunk of sharp cheddar cheese.  Oh, I do not disappoint, friends, I always give you the hardcore truth.  My dress pants are unbuttoned, too and my makeup is smeared…how ya like that?   I’m a domesticated Courtney Love.  I’ve not run since the marathon fiasco a week and two days ago.   And so here we go- another self-depricating blog about food, running, poetry, kids, nostalgia, and chaos in my life.  Come in, and don’t bother to take your shoes off because it’s been awhile since I’ve mopped!

It’s practically dark and it’s 7 o’clock.  WTH. 

Well, Laura urged me into finding a new venue for what started in 2006 as a (I’m embarrassed to use the word…) MYSPACE blog that I thought no one would read, but apparently I had a few followers who enjoyed my quiet desperation, random poems and penchant for poking fun at my soft belly.  I suppose, as I’ve been told, it even inspired a few people to start running and a couple of them even took it further by running some races- that’s awesome!  I hope I inspired a few to eat cheesecake, cereal and ice cream as well (the four food groups…minus Taco Bell)

I won’t overwhelm you with any melancholia at the moment or anything too deep- it’s just the first post, afterall- c’mon. 

You may be a mutual “facebook friend” of my husband’s and decided to check out my blog, hoping in guilty fascination to make sense of the wild, dispairing and ambiguous lyrics and updates he has been leaving.  I know a few of you even know what’s up because you messaged him.  Gossip getting set straight- yes,  my marriage is currently at the point of discontinuity.  I won’t go into detail but in this lovely no-secrets blog that I write more for my self-therapy than your amusement, I gotta put it on the dissecting table.  And likewise, leave comments publicly, please.  

Have to wrap this first one up….

~ My kids are doing great- thought Colby had MRSA (or as Violet calls is, Mrs. A) and spent the last couple of hours at MedExpress.  Colby at the home game last Friday with his Baritone… doesn’t he look excited?!  I know!

~ Colby is running 21′s in Cross County! Here’s Violet on Sat…

~ My next marathon is in 3 weeks and I am considering not running it or maybe running the half because I am exhausted in every way.   I ran a 4:2X  (not sure) last week at the Air Force Marathon.

~ Sometimes stress damages the appetite- not now- I am voracious.  Someone stop me- if it’s in my way, I eat it. 

~ Dale has lost a ton of weight and ran thirty miles last week as well as spends a lot of time at the Y- this is great but he has us worried.

Lastly, I’ve got to sort through my notebooks and post up some new poetry rambling I’ve created, but in the meantime, enjoy November 1968 by Adrienne Rich- I’m really digging this one right now (hence the post title)…  I LOVE IT

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/november-1968/